Way of Living
by Skyler Black -1
Summary: I, Maximum Ride, have been in foster care since I was 4. When I was younger I use to hope that there was someone out there who loved me, but as I got older I stopped. I soon realized that there is no family out there that would love me as there own, that actually cared. So here I am now, the lonely girl who would never be loved. This is my way of living.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor did I create the Ride books. I do not own the charters from that book. Nor do I own or create most of the songs in this fan fiction.**

**Own: I own the plot and 1 or more short songs. I wrote them. **

Summery: I, Maximum Ride, have been in foster care since I was 4. When I was younger I use to hope that there was someone out there who loved me, but as I got older I stopped. I soon realized that there is no family out there that would love me as there own, that actually cared. So here I am now, the lonely girl who would never be loved.

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Currently I was trying to brake into Megan's trailer through my window that leads to my room. Kinda confusing right. Well Megan is my "step mother" and she rules everything. Not even her husband has a say in what she says or does, she's the boss in her household. I still remember the first night I might them..**  
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*Flashback*

I pulled my one black suite case behind that held everything I owned. I got to the front of the trailer slowly and looked up. There stood a dark blue trailer that was white at the bottom and had 1 big window in the front. The front yard had patches of yellow grass everywhere and dead bushes sat along the side of the trailer. Then there was a big huge tree in the yard that draped along the top of the straight trailer top. Surrounding the trailer and yard was a silver gate that had a little hook to open it up. I opened it and stepped on to the property. I followed the jagged walk way that lead me to the front door. The door first had a black screen then behind that stood a white door, with a silver handle. Ashely the person who basically has me on her case to help me find a home rand the door bell. Ashely has blond hair and blue eyes and is tall. After about 5 longest seconds of my life the door opened. Revealing a tall women with black hair and dark brown eyes. She welcomed us in and played nice for Ashely. Once Ashely thought everything was good she left, that's when this women named Megan sighed and looked a me with a smirk. She then told me this.

"Max, I don't have many rules in this house. You can do what you want, when you want, how you want, I don't care. But if your not home bye 12 o'clock at night then the front door is getting locked and will have to find another way in. I ask you to do something you do no questions ask, got it?"

As a reply I shook my head yes and didn't say a word. She smirked again and said "Not a talker, I might just like that." She then gave me a tour of the trailer explaining everything, then we got to my room it was empty besides 6 cans of paint on the floor and the walls were already tapped of so I wouldn't get paint of the roof or floor. Megan spoke then "I didn't now your favorite color but I did hear from Ashely that you didn't like bright colors so I got you 2 cans of gray paint , 3 cans of black paint and, 1 can of dark purple. Your bed, desk, and chest are black. And are in the living room right now. So paint your room and then we will bring your stuff in." With that said she walked away. Since it was around 8 in the morning I had all day to paint so I started I painted all 4 walls black the got my paint brush and splattered the walls in gray and dark purple. I liked it. Around the time I finished it was 2 o'clock. I went to the living room to find Megan talking to a guy. The guy had dark brown hair and eyes. Megan saw me and said "This is Bobby, my husband. I take it your done."

I simply nodded yes. We waited till later to put my stuff away so the walls could dry. When they did we put them in.

2 1/2 months later.

**(A.N: This is still her flashback.)**

This is the longest I've stayed at a foster home so I decided to make some friends. Over the next I'm did. We had a little group, Raven, Jessie, Alex, Jordan, Jay, and me. I really liked them. Raven has waist length black hair, blue eyes and is tall, and is 16. Jessie is her boyfriend and has black floppy hair. So his hair falls over his eyes and goes to his chin. He has dark brown eyes, he's the taller then Raven and is 17. Jordan has dark brown hair that gets darker till it goes black waist length hair. Her eyes are hazel, she's tall and she's also 16. Jay is her boyfriend who has dirty blond floppy hair. It covers his eyes and goes to his chin. Has deep brown eyes, tall and is 16. Alex is 17, tall, has black floppy hair. It falls over his memorizing blue eyes and is my little crush. Those are my friends, there part of my life.

*End Flashback*

So I've been here now for 8 months and I really really like it. As you may have guessed I'm now dating Alex, the best boyfriend out there. He's caring, loving, nice,he doesn't expect anything from me. He's there for me I just want to talk or cry or just see him, he's the nicest one of the coolest people I know. So remember that thing Megan said I can stay out late I was hanging out with my friends and some stuff got out of hand so i didn't get back till 7 in the morning. Last night me and my friends were walking through an ally talking we each my only had 1 beer and none of us were drunk yet and we saw 3 big dudes come in to the ally and they were being stupid and making sex comments about us girls. So we beat them, the cops came we ran off to Jordan's house hid for a bit then me and Alex hung out. Now I'm home trying to get in.

I pulled the screen off and crawled in to the trailer, I had left my window open. I slid my jeans off and fell onto my bed. I looked at my black wall like I did every night that had gray letters on it saying,

"Were all in the same game; Just different levels. Dealing with the same hell; Just different devils."

Then closed my eyes and let the dark take me.

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**R.&.R**


	2. Why

**Disclaimer: JP owns real book, not me! I also no own some songs.**

**Own: I own plot and some songs that I wrote.**

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_*crash*_

I woke up to the sound of a vase crashing against a wall. I looked around quickly looking for some jeans. I found some black short shorts by my bed. I sucked up the fact that they were to short and just put them on. I quickly threw open my door and ran down the hallway to the living room. As I came closer I heard voices and yelling. When I came into the living room I saw something I didn't expect, more like someone. There in the living room stood Ashely, my social worker. She had on black long slacks and a black button up dress shirt with black flats. Megan kept yelling at her that she couldn't do it, she had no right. Megan was a mess, most of her hair was up in a messy bun but, some of it was sticking out all over the place. It looked like she was pulling on it. Her eyes were big and they shinned with tears. Mascara and tears stained her checks. As I made my presents made by coming into the living room, Megan ran up to me, threw her arms around me and cried on my shoulder.

I then voiced my thoughts, "What's happening, what's wrong?"

Ashely spoke up then, "Max, your leaving, go get packed."

Those words hit me like a bag of bricks. _Leaving, no,...I-I can't. I won't._ I stuttered my next sentence, "N-no, I live here this i-is my home, my life yo-you can't just take that away, I won't let you."

I guess she didn't like that because her voice rose with each word, "This is no home! Max, you keep getting in trouble, coming home at 7 o'clock in the morning, staying out late, running from the cops. Who knows what else, by the way your breathe smells I'm guessing you've had a drink. Do you now how much trouble you can get in!? I'm done with this Max, your going to a new home weather you like it or not? Do you feel like going back to juvenile detention? Now go get your stuff!"_  
_

Thats when Megan looked up at me and said, "Drinking? 7 o'clock? Out late? Cops?What's she talking about Max?!"

You see Megan has actually become a good parent over these months. She actually cares for me. She put more rules in play, we hang out a lot, and we both cleaned the house together if it needed cleaning. She wouldn't make me do everything. She cared, and I ruined it again. I ruined my life for the hundredth time. I felt tears in my eyes, and slowly shook my head no. I ran to the front door slipped on my black flats by the door and ran out. I ran and ran trying to clear my head. When I stopped because I was out of breathe I looked up and saw the warehouse. It was a abandoned place that me and my friends hung out at. I jogged up to it and crawled through a window. Inside it was like a giant dusty box. Rusty mettle, parts, trash, and beer bottles littered the ground. Graffiti covered the walls. There were also crates and boxes everywhere. I walked over to a crate and sat down. I pulled out my phone and called Alex. He he picked up on the third ring.

"Alex," My voice was weak.

"Max, baby, are you okay, were are you, all come over?" He told me with concern in his voice.

It brought a fresh round of tears, knowing that I was leaving, leaving him. I couldn't hold them in, I couldn't hold back my soft cries. "The warehouse." Was all I said then he told me he was on his way and hung up. About 5 minutes passed then I saw Alex come in the same way I did. He ran up to me asked what's wrong and held me in his embrace. I told him, everything Ashely said and what happened. He just held me and didn't tell me everything was going to be okay, because we both knew it wasn't. I was leaving, to a new home a new life, all over again. I had no more tears to cry, I just sat there in Alex's embrace. After a bit I pulled back and looked to see Alex smirking. _WTH why is he smirking there's nothing funny about this! _He saw the evil glare I was giving him and started shaking his head no then started laughing. After his laughing breakout his face turned serious and he clearly spoke these words.

"Baby, do you now what your wearing?"

I was beyond pissed he was he was laughing about my outfit, he needs to be serious. I was about to all but yell at him, but that's when realization donned on me. I was in shorty shorts.

"God, no. I ran all the way over here in these. I can't believe I did that, sh**!" I yelled.

Alex chuckled, took of his jacket and then began tying it around my waist. By this time are mouths were all most touching. If I leaned forward just a tiny bit I would feel his soft and gentile lips pressing against mine. But I couldn't move it was like I was frozen in time. Then he moved and brought his lips to mine. They were soft gentile and loving, but I didn't want gentle. I pressed my lips harder to his and he got the message. He licked my bottom lip asking for entertarnce, I granted it to him. His tung memorized my month. After about 10 seconds longer we pulled away to breathe. He then started sucking on my neck, and I softly pushed him away with a smirk.

"If Ashely see's that i'm screwed." I said well breathing heavy.

He just smirked and we headed home. We walked there in comfortable silence. By the time we got back 3 hours had passed. _Wow, that took a while. _The next thing I new we were at my house entering the door. The second I opened the door, Ashely and Megan were yelling at me asking me we're I was, why was Alex with me, and such. I ignored them all and said I was going up to my room and did with Alex right behind me. I then started to pack all my things. This was my first time with leaving with a lot of stuff. My birthday and just passed and Megan and my friends went to the mall. They all bought me stuff, but Megan bought me a lot of clothes. The girls would pick out clothes and make me try it on and if the boys approved I would get it. I got a lot of stuff at the mall. As I put my stuff away silent tears fell down my face. I wiped them away quickly. After all my stuff was packed, me and Alex walked down stares hand in hand.

"I'm ready." Is all I say. Tears threaten to leak out of my eyes but I hold them back.

Ashely nods and Megan tells me bye and starts crying all over again, but it's all a blur. It's a blur when I walk outside past the yard and house. The blur ends though when I see the black care waiting for me, the car that's supposed to get me out of here to a new, "better" life. I then tell Alex bye, and give him one last breathe taking kiss, then step into the car. I don't need to tell Alex bye, in a way I already did. In that kiss I was releseing him, telling him to move on. I look out the window Megan'a on her kness crying, while Alex looks sad, and tears are just about to brake through and start streaming down his face. I look forwowd and close out my mind. I had to stop thinking, I let my guard down and this is what happened. I ruined everything and now I have to go back. I need to be how I use to be. Strong, independent, and silent. I brought my walls back up I can never be like that again. I can never be caring or I would just can't hurt all over again, and I would not let that happen.


	3. New, But Not Wanted

**Disclaimer: I don't own!**

**A/N: Guys I just wanted to say thanks to all the people out the who have read and followed this story. If makes me really happy to open this up and see people doing that so thanks. This chapter is dedicated to _alyssa the lucky bird girl_ & _dark wolf of death_. Thank you for constantly reviewing, it really makes me happy to see your review so thanks.**

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"So first I'm gunna take you to my house to get cleaned up, then you will be on your way to Valencia's. She is a very nice women, and has kids of her own. She has three kids Ella, Gazzy and, Angel. Ella is her biological daughter, well Gazzy and Angel are related and adopted. Angel and Gazzy are twins and have been with Valencia since they were 11 months. They are very excited to meet you. Val doesn't know why you are back in foster care. She doesn't know what you did. You should keep it that way. This family is a new start for you. Don't mess it up, Max." Ashely ranted on me.

The car pulled to a stop and she looked over at me. I just shrugged and kept a blank face. The car was filled with silence for about 5 seconds before she spoke again.

"Really, Max?! Your going to do this again, why?! Your getting a new start and your going to blow it! Do you not care? Stop mess'in things up! You know what, everyone was right! They said you were a mistake, a waste of time! And you are! I can't stand you, here you are, your about to restart, and your going to mess it up! You don't deserve another chance!" With that said her hand came across my right cheek. My hands flew to my face on instinct. Rage was running through me but so was fear. So many things happened to me at my old foster homes… _No, Max! Stop thinking about it. That will only make things worse. Lock up the memories and pain and just wait. _I brought my knees up to my chest, brought my face down to my knees and wrapped my arms around my self. Ashely was right, I was _nothing_ a _nobody_ no one cared and I would _never_ forget that. **  
**

"My-, Max. I'm so so so sorry. I-I did- didn't mean that. Oh, God what have I done. Max I-" she reached out to touch me and I flinched away. She sighed and unlocked the doors. And told me to come in when I was ready then left. She did it, she finally hit me... Oh, god she _hit _me I-I... _STOP! Stop thinking about it, just wait. Lock up your emotions. _I did just that and got off the car. Ashely's house was small and white. It had a brown top and a tree in the front. The yard was big though. I walked the short path up to her door and walked in. The front door lead to her living room that was connected to the kitchen. Then there was a hallway that lead to 3 rooms, 1 of those was a bathroom. I went in. I turned on the shower and slowly undressed careful to not look in the mirror. I didn't need to see my self, I already knew what was on my body. I got in the shower and let the hot water wash away all my tears and filth away. After I was done I turned the water off and my body was red from how hot the water was. The mirror was foggy and the air was stuffy. I opened the window a bit and let the hot air drain out of the bathroom while drying off. I opened my black suite case to pick out some clothes after I had put on my black undergarments.

In the end I put on a black shirt that in big white letters that said "PALE IS THE NEW TAN", black ripped skinny jeans and black combat boots. Then I took out my gold chain neckless. Hanging on the chain was a gold mini pocket knife. I then proceeded to take out all my piercings and put new ones in. In both my ears I had gauges. The were big enough to stick the top of my pinky in. On my right ear I had a gauge and then had piercings that lead up wards until it lead to my industrial piercing. So in that ear I just stuck a black gauge in, followed by black diamonds, a feather then an arrow that went diagonal and was my industrial piercing. On my left ear I had a wrap around piercing of a snake. So it wrapped around my ear and looked like a black snake. I also had a tongue piercing. It looked like a pill, half was white and the other half was a see through red color. It was cool. For my spider bites on my lip I simply put in two black lip rings and was settled. I looked in the mirror before I applied some black mascara, eyeshadow and eyeliner. I got my black beanie out of my bag and put it on, I took one last look in the mirror. Once I was satisfied I walked out the door.

Megan told me I looked good and we got back in the car and drove off. Before i knew it I was at my new foster home. First off let's just say it was huge. Three floors it looked like from out side. The house was white and also had a white fence. The yard had many flowers and two big trees in the front yard. It was nice... To bad I won't be staying here long…_what?!_ What am I talking about of course I would stay here, or stay for as long as they wanted me to- _No! I'm not staying here, I don't want to_, I decided. Ashely lead me two the front door and rang the bell.…Now all I had to do was wait.

R&R

Guys I now it was kinda short but please just hold on. Next up date will be longer!

-Alex


	4. I can't care, I won't care Maybe

**Disclaimer: I don't own. Why do I have to keep doing doing this, it's stupid. It's obvious I don't own. Whatever...**

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**Fang Pov:**

Ella's house right now is beyond crazy. Everyone is excited and jumpy and…just…crazy. The twins are literally jumping up and down, Ella and Nudge are having panic attacks and Iggy is begging, well Iggy. Wait sorry I should introduce my self, I'm Fang. One of Ella's friends, were all as you can tell together at her house. You see her mom is adopting a new kid to day, witch I know is wrong of me but I kinda don't like her. I mean I haven't meet her but I think she going to a well, a bit*h. But on the other hand part of me is thinking she'a really cool, even though I don't know her. I don't now though guess I have to meet her first. Anyways everyone was clearly not them selfs.

"Fang, will you get Angel to sit on the couch? I've got Gazzy." Dr.M interrupted my thoughts.

I gave her a simple nod and went over to were Angel was running in a circle. She stopped for a quick second but before she ran again I picked her up.

"OMG, what's she going to be like Fang?" She yelled with happiness clearly in her voice.

"I bet she'll be happy to meet you." I told her, with fake enthusiasm. Yeah, right I bet she'll be a fu-

"Really Fang? I bet she'll be happy, nice, friendly and really pretty!" Angel exclaimed, and interrupted my thought.

"Maybe Ange, Maybe." I placed her on the couch and she started jumping on it. God, who the hell gave these kids sugar.

"What if she like mean and crap. What if she's ugly and a brat, OMG what are we going to do Ella!? What if she's like a bit- sorry Angel. What I meant was what if she's like, she like treats us bad and stuff!? What's gunna happen, I mean I hope she's nice and funny. What if she's like different. Like what if she's a complete loser or wanna be- ahhhhh, what are we gunna do guys?! I hope she likes me at lest, I think I like her, I mean I haven't meet or anything but yeah. Wait you guys already know I don't know her, okay then. When will she be hers, I mean we've been like waiting for a whole 3 hours and I-" Nudge ranted, but Iggy then cover her month with his hand, thank god I thought that girl would never shut up.

Then Ella started talking," Well, I don't care if she ugly or a loser. I just don't want to have a damn mean bit- girl in this house. But I just got to hope for the best she"ll be nice, pretty, I mean I'm not trying to set my expectations of her high it's just I want a new friendly, caring sister. You know?"

"Guys, I now what your expecting of her, but guys, your not her You don't now what she's gone through so please just be nice." Dr.M told us and warned us all. Well I didn't think about that I guess she won't be all that bad, I guess maybe I was wrong… about her… That's when the door bell rang.

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**Max Pov:**

I could here the yelling of everyone from here, telling each other to calm down. Then the door opened and a pretty Mexican lady opened the door. She was in a plain white shirt and blue jeans. She had long dark brown hair and gorgeous brown eyes. I mean they weren't just plain like mine are they were just the right amount of light and dark that made them sparkle. She looked at me with a big smile and welcomed me in. Once in the house the talking started.

"Hello, I'm Valencia but you can just call me Val or Dr.M. This is Ella"- she pointed to a girl that looked just like her but younger. She gave me a big smile and waved. I nodded.-"This is Angel-" Angel was a little girl with blond curly hair that went just past her shoulders and had big bright blue eyes. She looked ecstatic and waved with a warm smile. I smirked but just a bit and nodded. I also did the same to the little boy.-"And this is Gazzy." She pointed to a little boy that looked just like the girl but his hair was short.

"These are Ella's friends, Nudge, Iggy and Fang." Nudge had mocha colored skin, her brown curly hair went to about her belly button. She also had big brownish hazel eyes and was about 5'7. Iggy had strawberry blonde hair and blueish gray eyes. **(HE IS NOT BLIND!)** He's about 5'9. Then there's Fang, he has black flippy hair that covered his dark dark brown eyes. They had little gold specs swimming in his eyes. He also had olive skin tone and was 5'9. They all waved at me with warm smiles, we'll not all. Fang just nodded at me real quick. _Okay_.

" I'm Ashely and, this is Max." Ashely told them all.

"Val can I speak with you for a second in the kitchen?" Ashely asked "Val".

"Sure." And then they went into the kitchen, leaving me with these kids. We stood there awkwardly for a moment but the Nudge broke it.

" Hi, I'm Nudge but you already know that Val told you. OMG, your like really pretty you seem nice and not like some bi*ch that Fang thought you were gunna be. I mean we all kinda thought you were gunna be one but I don't think so anymore. OMG I didn't say that, I'm sorry I'm not trying to call you a bi*ch but you-" Iggy placed a hand over here mouth and said sorry. _Wow, so these people haven't even meet me and there all ready judging me. Well he'll with them then_.

Val and Ashely came back then and Ashely started talking. "It was nice to meet you all and I hope you like Max. Max bye." With that said she walked out the door.

"Max, I'll show you your room. You kinda have to paint it still. Is that okay?" Val asked. I just nodded.

She lead me to my room on the third floor. The door was black. _Yes_. She then opened it up. It was really big and had its own bathroom. It was empty and there was buckets of paint on the floor. There was yellow, purple, blue, and red. Hell to the no. theres no black! Good thing I still have some. I nodded and she left so I could paint. I painted the room black with a little bit of purple splattered on the walls. Just a bit. When I was done I got Val and she asked Fang and Iggy to help us with moving are stuff in. When we entered my room Iggy said "I don't remember us going out to bye black paint." Val said it looked good and had them bring my black dresser, desk and bed in. When they were done I put my black comforter on my bed and put all my stuff away. By this time it was around 8 And I could smell food coming from down stairs so I followed it. I haven't eaten all day and whatever was cooking smelled really good. When I finally found the kitchen my mouth started to water. there was a whole bunch of food on the table. Tacos, rice, beans, tamales it was like they were throwing a party.

"Well you look hungry Max. Might want to close that mouth or you'll catch flys." Iggy said trying to be funny.

Then I did something no one suspected. I laughed and told Iggy "Shut up Ig." Everyone turned to me there mouths agape.

Then I spoke again,"What?" I put a lot of force behind it.

"It's nothing Max, it's just you talked, smiled and laughed."

I just nodded and we all started to eat. It wasn't to interesting. When I was done I went to my room, locked the door and went to the bathroom. I did something that I did every night. I took my pocket knife out and slowly brought it across my wrist. I thought of all the pain, loss and hurt. I thought about leaving Alex. _2 cuts_. I thought of Ashely hitting me. _2 cuts_. I thought of all the pain in my life. _2 more cuts_. I then cleaned my cuts and knife put on shorts and a long sleeve shirt and went to lay in bed. How was I going to do this. I mean it's obvious that I'm going to be here for a while so should I just give in and start being me. I think I'm going to give them a chance. I need to give them a chance.

I couldn't sleep so I went out to my balcony at sat down on the hammock and started to softly sing.

**(I don't own this song!)**

The Last Night by Skillet

You come to me with scars on your wrist  
You tell me this will be the last night  
Feeling like this

I just came to say goodbye  
Didn't want you to see me cry  
I'm fine but I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone  
Look me in the eyes so I know you know  
I'm everywhere you want me to be

The last night you'll spend alone  
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go  
I'm everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault  
But they don't know you like I know you  
They don't know you at all

I'm so sick of when they say  
It's just a phase, you'll be okay, you're fine  
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone  
Look me in the eyes so I know you know  
I'm everywhere you want me to be

The last night you'll spend alone  
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go  
I'm everything you need me to be  
The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything's wrong  
If you give me your hand, I will help you hold on  
Tonight, tonight

This is the last night you'll spend alone  
Look me in the eyes so I know you know  
I'm everywhere you want me to be

The last night you'll spend alone  
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go  
I'm everything you need me to be

I won't let you say goodbye  
And I'll be your reason why  
The last night away from me, away from me

With that I Let that dark pull me in to a nightmare of sleep.


	5. Try

**Disclaimer: DON't OWN!**

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for reviewing. It's really nice to know that there's someone out there reading your stuff. I just wanted to say that I know what gunna happen in the next few chapters, but if you have an idea of what you would like to see happen in the story just tell me guys it would be really cool to see. Keep reviewing!**

**-Alex**

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**_Max Pov:_**

I woke up freezing cold, my body was trembling. I slowly sat up and my arms went down to my soaked shorts. My eyes sprang open and I looked around the sky was dark gray not for it being night but because clouds of the darkest gray littered the sky. I could hear the wind as it made itself know, not only in its roar but it's feeling too. My skin was pale and as cold as ice. The sky made rumbling noises, it's warning of what was to come. The sky lit up with a bright light that ran and touched down to the earth.

I slowly got up and walked over to my balcony doors. I pushed against them and they opened. I hurried inside locked the door and went straight to the bathroom. I decied to take a long burning hot shower, to get rid of the chill that was running through my body, soaking through my bones. I stayed in the shower for what seemed like forever, but was really 25 minutes. I got out and wraped myself in a big dark read beach towel. Then went back to into my room and got ion my closet. I picked out simply my black ripped skinny jeans, a electric blue sweater and black vans. The shoe was black and so was the sole. After I was done I ran the strighter through my brownish blondish hair. By the time I was done and down stairs it was 7 o'clock and school was support to start at 7:30. Yeah, you heard me right, school. Dr. M was telling yesterday at dinner that even though I had just got there that the kids went to school on monday and it was Sunday. Ella was saying that the weekend went by to fast. So, yeah school today, the joy, fun. Sarcasm. I was about to hwas out the door when a thought hit me, do I walk or do these kids get a ride. I put my hand on the door handle and was about to say screw it and leave when Ella's voice stoped me.

"Hey, good morning. We don't walk Fang and the gang come and get us. Mom takes the litle ones."

In response I just nodded.

"Why don't you talk? I mean I'm not trying to be mean or anything. I'm not trying to integrate you but-ahhh, I'm just gunna shut up" Ella's voice got smaller telling me se was nervous. Thats when I surprised her and myself by saying,

"I don't know. It's just it hard for me to open up to people. But Ella I do, I really do want to try to be one of your friends."

Ella's face had shock written all over it and was bright red. I mumbled a sorry and headed out the door to wait. Then Ella ran out to me and threw her arms around me. I stiffed up quickly and she removed her arms.

"Sorry, it's just that I would love to be your friend and I'm really sorry for going stiff back there and for hugging you it's just that I'm really excited." She babbled. It was then when we heard a car horn and a black Aston Martin Rapide pulled up. **(Look it up its a nice car.)** The tinted window went down and Iggy was in the passenger seat.

"Hurry, or were gunna be late." He said. Me and Ella started heading towards the car. _God this is a nice car, Fang's family must have money._ I said Fang's because he was driving the car So this must be his.

"Hey Ella! Hi, Max." Nudge bursted. I nodded towards her then Ella started talking.

"Nude! Fang, Iggy. Hi guys are we still gunna do that thing on Friday or what?"

" Yeah, Ella we are. But what are we gunna do? I know we're hanging out but we need to figure out what were gunna do." Iggy spoke up.

"How bout a movie? Then we hang out at the arcade?" Fang asked.

"Yeah, sure." They all agreed.

" Do you want to go Max?" Fangs voice was deep and sexy. It made me want to- No Max! No, you don't like him he could be like them! Yeah he might be, plus you love Alex and he loves you. Don't you mean loved. No he loves me! He used to, but you let him go remember. He might be sad for a while but he will move on. I know.

Ella's voice was soft as she spoke. "Max, are you okay? You don't have to go." That's when I relizied we were stopped at the school and everyone in the car was looking at me with consern written all over there faces. My face felt wet and I brought my hand up to my check to touch it and my suspicions were true. Silent tears were streaming down my face.

"God no." My voice was lower then a whisper. With that I booked it out of the car. I ran and ran. I ran past the school parking lot, I ran past the school, and I ran until I came to a park. It was filled with many trees. It had an old swim set and an old slide then it just turned into a forest. I climbed one of the tallest trees deep into the area and sat at the highest one I could and just thought. I thought about everything. We'll everything that recently happened. Like Megan, Alex, all my old friends. I thought this new life too. But every time I thought about it it ended up the same. It wouldn't work out, but I had to try with everything in me to try to make it work. But at the same time I knew not matter what I did, they would see this. They would see the unstable girl with a hard past and that's the last thing I want. But it's already to late they saw what just happened. I wanted- no _needed_ a relief. I needed to stop at this thinking. That's when I realized how much time had passed. School would almost be over. Dammit! I need to get back I ran all the way to the school. By the time I got there I was panting I started walking but that when I saw a girl with black hair that went to about a bit past her shoulders and was layered with bangs that covered half here face. She had darkish green eyes that were memorizing and was about my hight. And I'm tall for my age. She looked at me and smirked. Then she spoke.

"Hey, I'm Venues."

"Max." Was all I said.

"Want one, looks like you can catch a break for a while." It was then that I realized that she had a beer in her hand. How she got it here I didn't care I just really wanted one, so I shook my head yes._ It would be my relief._ So she opened one and gave it to me. I let the Luke-warm drink poor down my throat. It was strong, and gave me a small buzz, but it also kept my thoughts away so I took another drink and another. Before I knew it I was on my 4 and was really dizzy. So was Venues.

"Want to meet my friends Maxie." She asked.

"Why the hell not." I replied. I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was happy. _Happy_. That's was rare for me. I didn't care if I wasn't acting normal. My kind of normal you know, the one who didn't speak and all that had pulled out here phone and texted someone then told me we were gunna walk to the park and meet them, witch did. By the time it took it to get are slow butts to the park her friends were there.

"By the way your walking, and your friend I'm gunna guess you two are drunk."

Spoke a girl with dark blue layered hair. She had bangs and her hair was past her chest. She had viper bites and white big gauges. Her eyes were dark brown and she had on a dark blue long sleeve shirt, white ripped skinny jeans, and black vans. On her head was a white beanie and she was very pretty.

"Help them, Shadow and Andrew." Two boys came up to us. They both had "flippy" hair. One boys hair was black and the others was dark brown. Both there hair covered there eyes and went to about there chin. The one with black hair had electric blue eyes and the other had deep brown eyes. The one with the blue eyes and black hair came up to me. He had a lip ring, gauges like mine and was taller then me. We was wearing black jeans, a dark gray shirt and black vans. The other was also taller then me had snake bites and black medium size gauges. He was wearing a black shirt, dark wash jeans, black vans and a black beanie. The one who came up to me picked me up bridal style and carried me over to a bench. The other one did the same to Venues.

" This is Max, are new friend. Max this is Zoey-" She pointed to the girl with dark blue hair.-" that's Andrew-" She then pointed to the one with brown hair-" and that's Shadow." She pointed to the one who carried me.

After about 3 hours of hanging out with them it was about 6 o'clock and I had to get home. I really liked them they were really cool people once you got I now them. I found out Venues is dating Andrew and Zoe was dating some dude from are school. Shadow was also really cool quiet, funny, and plus he wasn't a jerk. Shadow had offered to take me home and I let him. The car ride to "my" house was very quiet and comfortable. When we got there he spoke.

" I'll walk you to your door."

He did just that and opened my door. It took just a few steps before we were there.

"Thanks for the ride Shadow."

"No problem, it's really nice hanging out with you, Max. I'll stay and explain to your parents why you were late from school, so you know you won't hopefully get into to much trouble."

"Thanks again." We rang the door bell and a frantic Dr.M opened the door.

**I'm really sorry it took me so long to update guys. **

**Please R&R**


	6. Slow process

**Disclaimer: I don't own MR.**

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As soon as I stepped foot into that house she was yelling at me. Telling me I scared her, I scared the kids, everyone was worried and she asked me were I was. Aperenly the school called her and told her I missed. She literly yelled for about 15 minutes. After yelling she gave me a lecture about my behavior and then finally she let me talk.

"Look Dr.M I really am sorry it's just I was kinda pissed earlier and I had a lot of really bad memories run through me and…and… Look Dr.M your kids are really good kids and they didnt need to see a mess like me brake down and cry and just become an even bigger broken mess. We all have that time Dr.M and I'm really sorry. I'll try really hard next time to be more careful."

Dr.M looked speechless from all the talking that I did. By the time I was done all the kids were down here Ella, Angel, Gazzy, Nudge, Iggy and Fang. Don't they have homes! It was then in all the silence that everyone seemed to realize the guy next to me. Fang, Iggy and Dr.M started to walk up to him. I held my hands up and spoke.

"Wait, he's my friend I meet him today and he gave me a ride home. Okay. His name is-"

"-Erick." Shadow interrupted. I looked at him with the expression _WTF_. He told me with his expression _go with it_. I gave a small one nod. Dr.M started talking,

" Oh, we'll thank you Erick for helping Maxim- I mean Max. I'm Valencia, would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Before he could say I was trying to push him out the door saying he couldn't. Key word, trying. He scooped me up bridal style and we started following Dr.M into the kitchen.

"Now, Maxie why you being so mean? Of course I would love to stay for dinner." Shadow said with his stupid grin on his face. I crossed my arms and pouted.

"We would love to have you. She lead all of us to the kitchen. Shadow sat me down at the chair next to him, he looked at me with a playfully half smile, I just glared at him. At dinner we all talked even me. Everyone looked happy we'll not Fang. He stayed silent the same the whole time like everyone says he does, no emotion. They asked Shadow alot of questions pointless really. Like his age, were he lives, a lot of stuff. Before I knew it I was walking him to his car.

" Well even though it's the first day we meet I feel like I can trust you witch is really werid because I don't trust people easily but thanks for that." I told him.

He grinned and said, " It was fun and besides I really really like hanging out with you. Your right I just meet you and I feel like I've know you for ever. You want to hang out Thursday with me…oh and the others. God I can't stop talking."

I laughed a real laugh and slowly noded my head. We said goodnight and he drove off. That's when I realized I was smiling a real acutaly smile. I walked back up to the house and ran to my room. Once in I locked my door and jamp on my bed. Thats when I realized I was smileing really big. I just... felt.…. so happy and calm around him. I mean I just meet him! Just…ahhhh! I'm just gunna stop. I walked into the bathroom and that's when I saw the razor. Some were inside me screamed _yes_ but then another part of me screamed _no_. I slowly walked torwads it. _Cut,cut,cut! Take away all these feelings. make them go away. No! You're happy and thats good. For the first time in a long while I'm happy. Yes- no-y- yns!. _I reached out for it but before I could grab it my hand stopped I pulled it back and ran out of the bathroom. I closed the door with a small smile on my face, I then face planted into my bed. Before I knew it I was out.

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**Guys I'm very sorry for the wait and this chapter! I know it may seem slow and stupid and long but please it will get better. The next chapter will be a lot better. **

**Please R&R**


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